My road is paved with good intentions...

I certainly made up a fine "to do" list yesterday. Here's what I actually did...I went to the grocery store, took the kids to the park after school, and did a few loads of laundry. It doesn't feel good. I want to tell myself what a failure I am. I know, in reality, that shit happens and that it's ok, but I feel like I avoided stuff on purpose so I could beat myself up about it.

I thought about doing up the office, even did a little basic picking up, but no major overhaul. Wait...I did see that I need a new storage solution for photos, and for that I need to spend money. I don't really want to spend money, but I am planning on going to the dollar store to find some cheap photo boxes, which WILL help organize this place. It will also entertain my daughter, who LOVES the dollar store! Maybe it's the slow pace that bothers me. I do like to do things fast, and check them off my list. I know though, that taking things slow, and thinking things out gives me the most satisfaction. It's not like the patient will bleed out if I don't act on photo boxes, and taking time does NOT mean that it's not important - it's just only important enough to get it right the FIRST time, which may take a bit longer.

Anyways, DH had the day off. I told him yesterday that I wanted to go to church for Ash Wednesday. Not really for AW, but because I've been wanting to find a "spiritual place" and we've never been to church here. A Wednesday 10am mass seemed like a good time to check the place out. Anyways, after mentally battling with myself all morning, I took a pass. DH also managed to not wake up until 10:15, and then sort of accused me of being mad at him for not waking up. That isn't true, I knew I could wake him if I wanted to go, and I completely know that not going was my own choice. I just felt like I had other priorities, and I'm a bit scared. The people in this town seem very conservative, and I am used to a very liberal church. I'm terrified of the fire and brimstone, follow me like sheep scenario, even though I have no evidence at all. Who knows? This place might be the one voice of reason in the whole damn valley!

So I did the wifey stuff of laundry and groceries and school for the kids. Even found a great website http://www.gocitykids.com for stuff to do when I can't think of anything for the kids. I do feel quite different now, more sure, and a little less likely to expect the worst, so things are definitely improving.