Do you like me?

Pity Party.....begin!

My life has changed.

I don't have a relationship with most of my siblings. My brother has not answered my request for an apology. My other brother has disappeared since my Mom moved in with him. While I've spoken with my sister, we're both avoiding the elephant that is my Mother in the room. I still don't miss my Mom, although my kids do, and that hurts.

My Dad and I have come full circle to a loving respectful relationship, based on each of our own strengths and weaknesses, not our stereotypes of each other.

My two closests friends are now closest to each other. I've been completely shut out of the loop, leaving me with ZERO female friends my age who live within a 75 mile radius.

My husband is still unemployed, and hasn't had any luck with interviews. If this continues, we will lose our house, and who knows what else. He is an amazing husband, father and friend, however, because I am so dependent on him right now, I am not willing to tell him all the things I wish he would do (spend more time job hunting, clean the house, spend less time with the TV, etc.) because I think that once I start criticizing, I won't be able to stop.

I'm exhausted and depressed. I'm afraid to call my girlfriends who DO live 100+ miles away because I need to verbally vomit on someone. I can't afford to lose any more human connections right now.

How did I end up so lonely? I'm a nice person, who cares about her friends. I don't give a shit about how much money someone has, just what their values are. My long-distance friends are some of the most kick-ass women I know....so why don't any of them live here?

Why can't I get over the pity party, and move on?