In defense of marriage

Divorce seems to be a popular topic these days.



A friend told me that another friend of ours had decided to divorce after 15 years of marriage. Then, I saw that one of my favorite writers, Vicki Iovine, is ending her marriage after 20+ years. To put the icing on the cake, I read an article about divorce and why the author thought that marriage was outdated and inappropriate for this day and age...How she had an affair, decided on divorce, and now lots of her friends are doing it too!

Because her "heart didn't lift anymore when he walked in the room" and she "didn't want to do the work to fall in love with him again".



Then I looked at my "not perfect at all " life, and my husband, and my heart lifted. See, I'm one of those people who loves being married. It's probably the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. Marriage is FANTASTIC. Where else can you find the one person who knows you well enough to call you on all your own crap? My hubby makes me better than I would be by myself...because I can't get away with all my delaying, bullshitting stuff.



The history we share....he is the only person I know (including family members) who has been around me this many years. He KNOWS me...and I KNOW him...yet there are still things about him to discover.



I don't understand the "single is better" approach. I don't understand the "my life is happier now that I've moved on from my 25 years of history with this person". What's so wrong with sticking it out thru the not so good times? I've learned so much by doing that, about myself and about the one I love....



It's so difficult to describe the deep emotional satisfaction that comes from knowing who I love and who loves me. I know who to call first, and who will be there when I get home at night. I know who to ask when I want sex. I like being able to tell from the tone of his voice or a quick look at his face what he's feeling. The shorthand of our life together is more like a dance than anything else.



Who else can I be this vulnerable with? When we argue, I always ask myself if I need to be right this time...and sometimes the answer is no.


So, why aren't there any articles celebrating the pleasures of long term commitment? What's so great about serial monogamy instead of actual monogamy?