The anxiety monster

rears it's ugly head.

I've become skilled at talking myself thru my more anxious moments. Especially while I'm clearing clutter in the house. I've gotten thru the kids rooms just fine. Today, I started on the office. It's a HUGE mess, and a source of chaos in this house.

Yesterday, it seemed my whole house was quite tidy. Today, I'm searching for excuses not to work on the office. I know that working thru the clutter will actually bring the calm I am seeking. And, that ignoring it will only make me more anxious. Yet, here I am, blogging instead of working. I even tried to switch chores, and work on replacing the screen for the sliding glass door. I couldn't get the screen off, and asked DH to do it. He bent the frame, and it's all messed up now, so I have to buy a new one. I managed not to throw a fit over this, but I thought about it. I even realize that this does not have to be done TODAY, freeing me up for my original chore.....back to the office again.

I'll have a bit of lunch, then take another stab at it. As long as I am trying, I am not failing.

Well, it's evening now, and I managed to remove most of the stuff from the office. I tried to set up the old computer in the kids room, and have it functioning. I got the closet emptied, and vaccumed, and the large cabine and fan are empty and clean. Now I have the short cabinet, the bookcase and the desk to do. I'm feeling like I made some great progress, but there is a heap of mess in the living room. Still, I did push thru and get past my anxiousness. I even snuck in a round of Chuzzle as a reward.

My brother is here for the next four nights, and he'll be staying in the room, but I can sort and toss and file and have it put back together by Wednesday at the latest...I hope.