It ain't over until it's over...

The title company called this morning.

They "forgot" to have me sign a few things. So I made the 40 mile round trip right away. Supposedly, it's all done....but I thought the refi was done on Wednesday, didn't I?

DH is stressed to the max. I'd like to help him, but the best thing I can do is listen. It's tough sometimes, because he is very negative right now, but I understand why.

I started and finished the boys capes tonight. Not bad for a few hours of sewing, and it's not like they will be professionally judged (they better NOT be!). Matthews has some shimmery blue fabric for trim, much like mermaid stuff, and it is a bitch to sew with! I won't be buying any of that again!

Matthew came with me on my roadtrip this morning. We talked about Halloween a lot. Trick or treating, candy, costumes, all of it. At our house, the Tooth Fairy comes about a week after Halloween and takes all the candy. That way she doesn't have to collect any teeth with cavities. Matthew wondered if there might be a "Candy Fairy", who leaves some cash when she takes the candy......hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....too clever for his own good, I think.

Life trivia, pumpkins to vacations...

Well, the office is clean, but the living room is still a disaster!

I've been a bit sidetracked, trying to close my now 10-week old refi. (Note to self: DON'T USE FAMILY, no matter how much money you might save!) Every time my husband asks if it's near close yet, I cringe!

10/26...

The office is all but done, and finally.....FINALLY we closed on the refi. Honestly...don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever use a woman named Deborah Leatherwood at Countrywide. I wouldn't trust her to sharpen a pencil. We went to the closing yesterday....that's October 25th, and I double checked our original application....we applied for this baby on AUGUST 10th!!!. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever that it couldn't be closed within days, we had nothing complicated going on at all.

The kids started on their well deserved monthlong break today. They are quite excited. Matthew actually believed me for a second when I told him that I switched his track again, and he needed to report to school on Monday (mean, I know!). Joey burst out laughing and when Matthew caught on, he felt much better!

We're busy around here, so the break is just in time. The weather has been lovely, crisp mornings, but warm days. The cousins will be here in two weeks. Joey was in the school spelling bee yesterday. He was the 10th child eliminated, but he was the last 4th grader...pretty good for a first try. We'll take the kids to the pumpkin maze tomorrow, I need to relieve a little stress at the pumpkin blasters...http://pumpkinmaze.com/

The anxiety monster

rears it's ugly head.

I've become skilled at talking myself thru my more anxious moments. Especially while I'm clearing clutter in the house. I've gotten thru the kids rooms just fine. Today, I started on the office. It's a HUGE mess, and a source of chaos in this house.

Yesterday, it seemed my whole house was quite tidy. Today, I'm searching for excuses not to work on the office. I know that working thru the clutter will actually bring the calm I am seeking. And, that ignoring it will only make me more anxious. Yet, here I am, blogging instead of working. I even tried to switch chores, and work on replacing the screen for the sliding glass door. I couldn't get the screen off, and asked DH to do it. He bent the frame, and it's all messed up now, so I have to buy a new one. I managed not to throw a fit over this, but I thought about it. I even realize that this does not have to be done TODAY, freeing me up for my original chore.....back to the office again.

I'll have a bit of lunch, then take another stab at it. As long as I am trying, I am not failing.

Well, it's evening now, and I managed to remove most of the stuff from the office. I tried to set up the old computer in the kids room, and have it functioning. I got the closet emptied, and vaccumed, and the large cabine and fan are empty and clean. Now I have the short cabinet, the bookcase and the desk to do. I'm feeling like I made some great progress, but there is a heap of mess in the living room. Still, I did push thru and get past my anxiousness. I even snuck in a round of Chuzzle as a reward.

My brother is here for the next four nights, and he'll be staying in the room, but I can sort and toss and file and have it put back together by Wednesday at the latest...I hope.

Whew!

I took apart the boys room today. It's official, they really do have a million Legos, along with a half million K'nex. You'd think their fine motor skills would be fantastic, but they both write like med students.

I feel the need to sit and be still for minute. Here's what's happened so far today:

Up and dressed myself and three children, made breakfast for all, took them to school. After we dropped off the boys, I stopped at two auto parts stores, looking for windshield wipers for my minivan. No luck, either out of stock, or outrageously expensive. Took Hope to school, went to WallyWorld for cheap windshield wipers, looked at fleece for a class project, but couldn't find what I wanted. Found sweats for Matthew's Halloween costume, and came home.

Then I began to dump out the boys room. It only took an hour to clear the floor, and bring the entire mess to the living room. Then I picked up Hope from preschool, went to the craft store to catch a sale. I was hoping for a Halloween craft for Matthew's class, but I found a deal on a Christmas one, so I bought that. Then I ran by Ace Hardware, and returned a stapler from last week's chair recovering (This was the wrong one, with the staples that didn't fit, I kept the other one). Brought Hope home, who was now running a fever. Fed her lunch, gave her medicine, had a sandwich myself, and began to vacuum the boys room. Matthew's bed was coming unbolted, and I couldn't find the proper Allen wrench, so off to the hardware store again to get a new set. I also bought some rope and clothespins to make a baseball cap hanger for the boys room.

Then I ran to the grocery store to get something for dinner. I came home, handed off the wrench to DH (thanks honey!) , and picked the boys up at school. I spoke with Matthew's teacher for a moment to confirm party plans. Then we came home, and I worked on the boys closet for a bit. I got thru two thirds of it, weeding out old clothes, shoes, and those damn legos. Then it was time for dinner, while I finished up washing all their bedding.

After dinner, we lit a fire in the firepit, and roasted marshmallows. We even made s'mores with graham crackers and nutella, because I had no "real chocolate". I made the boys beds up, medicated Hope and put her to bed. Now I'm yelling at the boys every 15 minutes to be quiet and go to sleep, as they are extremely chatty tonight. I don't have much patience left, after working to clean their room all day.

Better put myself to bed as well.

Autumn Weekend

The air is cool at night, and the leaves are just beginning to turn. The almond harvest is in, and the dust has settled (a bit).

Our bed has soft cotton sheets year round. We also have a light quilt for a bedcover, but don't use it much in the summer. In the cooler months we add an electric blanket. This has a lot to do with the fact that I am usually freezing in the winter, and my husband works nights, so I need the warmth. I wish he worked days.

After working six days straight, DH was home on Friday night around 10pm. At 11:30, we went to bed. He mentioned that it "might" be time to add the electric blanket, as the night was a bit cool. I insisted that he was wrong, that it wasn't late enough in the year.

Then Hope fell out of bed. I got up and checked her for bumps, and tucked her back in. By the time I got back to our room, I was freezing!!! So, I ripped the quilt off my dozing husband (who found this irritating for some reason), pulled out the electric blanket and spread it over the sheet. I plugged it in, and set my side on preheat. Not 5 minutes later, I was deliciously warm and toasty, and I slept better than I had all week. It occurred to me that I might have been cold!

On Saturday, we went to the pet store, then the Pumpkin Fair. It's a local street fair, and it was a nice afternoon to be out and about. I didn't see anything I "needed", but my kids got tons of candy from the vendors, and we were featured at my friends photography booth. (Shameless Plug: http://www.ourfuturestars.com/index.html)

Sunday, I made butternut squash soup. It was good, even if I put too much cinnamon in it. Ihttp://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Creamy-Butternut-Squash-With-Cinnamon-Soup/Detail.aspxttp:// I left out the clove too, since I don't like that either. I served it with tortellini, salad and bread, so the kids could try it, make a face, and eat their tortellini without complaining. We also watched football (49'ers won), NASCAR (Brian Vickers won, but he's a slimeball), and the kids playing in the yard all afternoon, before the weather turns.
The sunlight is so beautiful this time of year. I wanted to have an outdoor fire (in our new outdoor firepit!) and roast marshmallows, but DH had to go back to work tonight.

I've got the electric blanket set to "3".

Martha and me...

While I have plenty of domestic skills, I'd still like to be really great at cake decorating, flower arranging and upholstery. I've compensated by finding a great baker, a good florist, and ...well...I can recover the seats of dining chairs, and make pillows.

When we bought the dining set for our kitchen, it was cherry wood with white upholstered seats. When the salesman asked me if I wanted to pay extra for scotchguarding, I said no. He actually smirked at me! The white was more than a bit jarring to the eye, and with three kids, I knew it wouldn't last more than a week no matter what! First night? Spilled milk. Luckily we hadn't removed the yuckky plastic covers. I went to the fabric store the next day and found a multicolored cotton tapestry that I liked. I did a fine job recovering those chairs. I left the plastic in place, and just covered right over it.

It's been a few years though. So today I removed the fabric and staples from the chairs, and thought about how much I liked that fabric. So much, that I ran it thru the washer, and to my surprise, it came out like brand new! I happily re-reupholstered my chairs, and cleaned and waxed the table, and it all looks so fresh.

I feel accomplished!

If you feed them, they will grow...

Today Hope and I ran some errands. Home Depot for some sand to put in our new outdoor fireplace, and to the grocery store for a few things. On the way, she noticed that some of the trees are starting to turn color. She's been learning about Autumn in preschool

"Mom, those leaves are changing, it's really Fall!" she said.

"I know honey, right now they're mostly yellow, but soon they will be red and brown and will fall off the trees", I replied.

"Yep, that's life", she said sagely.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"You know, that's "life"....like when you put me in bed and cover me with soft blankee and I say "Ahhh, this is the life!"...it's like that. "

And I remembered how that feels, the "This is the life!" feeling, for just a moment.

I savored. The joy of her growing up is more painful that I thought it would ever be.

Mental Floss

Here's the saga of Dr. Steve.

As a child, I almost never saw the dentist, my Mom didn't make it a priority. Luckily, I was raised with fluoridated water, and seem to have decent teeth. I don't remember too many problems until I was 20, and my wisdom teeth began to cause some significant pain. I was also fortunate to be working at a job with decent medical and dental coverage at the time.

So someone at work recommended Dr. Steve. I was unsure of how to even behave in a dental office, but his staff seemed nice enough. I walked in to my first appointment to find a short, fat, Japanese man who was limping barefoot in around the office. It was Steve.

He's a warm funny workaholic. Seems he'd been in a car accident that morning, and had sprained his ankle. When the swelling started to slow him down, he just removed his shoes and worked anyway. He decided to clean my teeth himself, as he was "the best technician" he knew, and he wanted to make sure that I didn't have any pain. He ended up having to do the complete cleaning over three visits. When he was done, I had a brilliant smile and was a bit in love with him. No, not like that....I just adored my dentist and wouldn't hesitate to come back. Every cliche and stereotype just wasn't true anymore.

Once we got the maintenance under control, we talked about my wisdom teeth. The x-rays showed that at least one was impacted, so Steve recommended an oral surgeon. I didn't want novacaine, I wanted to be knocked out, so he sent me to Dr. T. I went thru a complete pre-surgical exam before I heard some news about Dr. T's reputation. He worked in a large medical building with a valet garage. The bench downstairs was called the "T Memorial Bench" because of his patients, who often returned to the parking garage pasty white, and unsteady on their feet. That was all I needed. Steve dug a little deeper and found a new surgeon for me.

While the new guy did a fine job, I had some lingering nerve damage on the right side of my jaw. Steve helped refill my Vicodin prescription twice, then took to time to explain just how addictive those pills were. Once again, he was my samurai in shining armour. I went cold turkey, and the nerve stopped hurting not too long after.

I've been going to Dr. Steve for 20 years now, and he's still a workaholic. He's just as friendly as ever, and now my husband sees him too. He won't treat my kids because "well, Jill, the only kid I have to treat is my own".

DH and I went and had our teeth cleaned today. It's over an hour away, and I'll make that drive until I'm 100, if he's still around.

Political Name Calling....

I've absolutely had it up to here with idiotic Americans. Here is a small sampling of first hand comments I've had to listen to today:

"You know, I read that Democrats have a lower birthrate than Republicans do....probably because they're all gay!" - S. a twice married mother of three, who fights daily with her ex over custody issues in front of the kids. She cannot spell "marrier" either. Apparently she's unfamiliar with birth control, as most Dem's I know use it. She's also unaware that children don't always grow up to join their parents political party either...apparently she's never heard of the 1960's.

"I put that 10 foot flagpole in my front yard because I want my illegal immigrant neighbors to know that I'm an American who believes in fences" - R. A boy scout troop leader, who's neighbors aren't illegals, they're immigrants, United States citizens who speak with an accent, and run a yard service business. If he actually spoke with them, and got past his personal stereotypes of those "Mexicans", he'd find out that they are actually from Honduras and have been here for 18 years.

There have been a dozen snippets about GW Bush visiting a nearby town yesterday as well. While plenty of folks in this town believe that it is a special, and singular honor, they fail to comprehend that he showed up in a city of 250.000 people. At an airport that has no commercial passenger flights, just a UPS hub and some private planes. He was within spitting distance of a major metropolitan area with 8 million people, and a state of the art airport with the latest anti-terrorist security features. Within spitting distance the other side of the capital of California, where a Republican Governor sits, but couldn't make the time to see him. Why? Because he is a moron of the first order, and he would be booed and picketed in the Bay Area, and the Governor can't be associated with him because he's up for reelection in November.

We've got a Congressman who should be in jail for soliciting sex from minor boys and using his Congressional title as influence over these same boys, who's in rehab "because alcohol is a major factor" and "I was abused by clergy as a child".

I cannot watch local television nor answer my telephone without being assaulted by political messages from both parties.

I'm not a Republican or a Democrat. I'm just a wife, mother and child who believes that those of us who are lucky enough to have "enough" should share it with others. I believe that government's job is to maintain the union, protect it's people, and educate.

I believe that sometimes, people need to be pushed to do what's right. I believe that morality cannot be completely legislated. I believe that religion is personal, and it isn't anyone else's business. I believe that church is for people who need it. I believe a woman has the right to choose what happens to her own body. I believe that democracy is NOT the best thing for everyone in the whole wide world, and that there should be many governments and cultures. I think the killing in Iraq is wrong, and I believe that the United States should never have gone there.

I believe that terrorists will never win. I believe that intelligent life may exist on other planets, but it's damn hard to find on this one.