Things I've learned about life from NASCAR

1. A top 5 finish will still keep you in the chase.

Ok, so will a top 10 finish...or any finish for that matter. The point is, keep trying. Everytime I feel a little lost, I promise to continue

2. Sometimes the bad guy wins.

Nope, I'm not a Tony Stewart fan. I can say that I like him more this year than I did last year. Of course, blowing up his engine and coming in dead last today helped a lot. I also love the fact that he talked about how out of shape he was last year, and how he was gonna buy some exercise exquipment with the million bucks he won for the cup championship. It's reassuring to know that a "champion" is using his treadmill to hang shirts on too. 'Cuz there is no way that boy has done a lick of exercise since he last climbed a fence.

3. It's not always the drivers fault.

Ok, so sometimes it is. My real point is that there are lots of people involved in a racing team, and even though it's easy to point fingers at the driver, he's not the only one who can screw up a good day. I need to remember that while I see myself as the family "driver", everything that goes wrong here isn't my responsibility. It isn't even my responsibility to fix what I see as wrong. My kids think nothing of interrupting whatever I might be doing to handle their crisis and I need to teach them that sometimes they're wrong. Blood loss is definitely a priority, but a cheese stick can wait, KWIM?

My youngest came in and tapped me awake at 6:45 this morning. She's four. Her problem? She wanted a toaster waffle for breakfast, and her older brother wouldn't help her (she's not allowed to use appliances without supervision). I came out and found her brother snuggled under HER blankee, watching Scooby. I asked why he didn't help her, and his response? "I just didn't feel like it". It was tough for him today, when he asked to play on the Playstation in my room....because "I just didn't feel like saying yes". Petty? Maybe. Powerful lesson on Karma? I like to think so.

I did find out one thing today. I watch NASCAR because I enjoy it, not because DH had the remote. I don't watch much TV, and it's usually kids or DH's choice, but I actually like watching all the pre-race chatter, and the soap opera that is racing these days. I even like the crashes, but not nearly as much as the males in my house do.

I'm trying to write every day as a way to force myself to think about ME, and what I want. It was interesting today (to me, at least) to hear the guilt in my head about sitting for hours watching TV, and not wanting to leave the house. I didn't completely abandon responsibility, but I did relax a whole lot more. I had to remind myself that this was a concious choice. I wanted to tell myself that I'm lazy, but I kept fighting the urge. It really is OK to like stuff that doesn't "seem" like me, and it's good to give myself some priority. It sounds so obvious, but I am very out of practice with the whole thing. I'd like it to come more naturally.