Have you seen me?

I'm that mom you see...the one who's kids are dressed well, and she looks like hell. I hadn't had a haircut in 8 months, until yesterday. I wear jeans every day, and sensible shoes. I used to be "cute", now I'm just tired. So tired I can't bother to put on makeup, except when I take the kids to the pediatrician. I haven't been out with my husband alone in a year. I don't even own a pair of high heels anymore, and I'm sure I'd bitch about how uncomfortable they were if I DID have them.

Know what? I hate myself most of the time. I'm not as fantastic at this mothering thing as I was when I worked in an office. I frequently get pissed off, and frustrated at this job. I'd LOVE a three week vacation...for the first two days at least. I'm fat too. Not so fat that I'd give up eating pasta and chocolate, but I'd better start thinking about it. I look like your average american tourist(er)...the big one.

My life is the one I always dreamed of: Bright, attractive kids, a loving husband, and out of the rat race of a paycheck job.

So why am I so freakin' unhappy with myself? And who am I anyways? I can tell you my kids and husbands favorite TV shows, colors, dinner menu's, vacation spots, clothing lines. I don't know what mine are anymore. I'm going to find out though. It's going to shake things up around here when I do, too. Wanna watch?