Number One Son

My eight year old is extremely bright. He's also emotionally deep, and he'd do just about anything to please me. I'm ashamed to say that I know this, and know how to use it my advantage. He's a great kid, in spite of my parental manipulations.

Saturday was his first "real" sleepover. He's stayed with cousins or with his brother and sister at the babysitters, but never at a friend's house. His friend Cade invited his entire Little League team and half his 3rd grade class to a "Super Sleepover". It started at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

Joey packed his own suitcase, and I aired out a sleeping bag for him. He still sleeps with a special pillow (he calls it "Crunchy Pillow") and a blankee that my Mom made before he was born. The blankee is in rags, and isn't really allowed off his bed, because "it's too special". It doesn't go on vacations with us, but when Joey's had a bad day, he goes right to it. I explained that blankee wouldn't be going to the sleepover either, and he was OK with it. He made sure that Crunchy Pillow could pass muster though. It had a clean Spiderman pillowcase and didn't look one bit like a lovey.

I let him pack, and while I asked him about each item that he should include, I didn't double check it. I told him that we wouldn't even think of leaving until the clock struck two. We live about a 1/2 mile away, so lateness wasn't going to be an issue. I thought about all the sleepover "situations" I had in my past, and let him know that he could come home any time he wanted to, all he had to do was call. Even though he has them memorized, I wrote down our home number and my cell number, just in case.

It occurred to me that I was setting a negative tone, for all the things that might go wrong. So I began to chat up the positives, like getting to stay up late, and laughing and joking with friends. I only put one rule into place. If he chose to stay up really late, he wasn't going to be allowed to be rude or grumpy to his family when he came home the next day.

We got there, and they had a waterslide/bounce house set up in the backyard. We saw it as we approached the house. He forgot to bring his swimsuit!!! We quickly turned around and went home to get one....whew!!! I came with him to the door and went inside for a bit. While Cade's parents are nice enough, we're never gonna be best friends. I made sure that Joey was OK, and that the waterslide was safe enough for me, and said goodbye.

Hope and Matthew played together like angels the rest of the afternoon. At dinnertime, I started really missing Joey. I wanted him to have the time of his life, but I really missed him in the rhythm of the household. We had BBQ'd ribs and potato salad for dinner - two things that Joey doesn't like - and instead of enjoying it, I just missed him more. DH went to work that night, and by bedtime, Hope and Matthew decided to have a sleepover of their own. Matthew didn't want to be alone in his bedroom! Hope slept in Joey's bed.

I, for some reason, was restless and couldn't sleep. I stayed up until about 1:30, which is very unusual for me. Knowing Hope will be awake around 6am usually gets me into bed before midnight. The next morning, H & M were angels again....they were extra quiet, and got their own cereal for breakfast. I didn't hear a peep until 8am!

So the morning wait started. I wanted him to call when he was ready to come home. By 10:45, I couldn't wait any longer - I just needed to smell him! So I called, and told him I was on the way. He did have a great time, but he didn't get to sleep until about 1:30 because he couldn't get comfortable - he almost called home, but he thought it was too late. Little did he know, PsychicMom was on duty!

Anyways, I got my first taste of what life felt like without him, and I didn't like it much. He means so very much to me, my smart, funny boy. I hate to see him cross another milestone without even flinching.